In occasional bursts of inspiration, I’ve been rewriting the beginning of my novel. I have a few going, but there’s one (let’s call it TSP) which has my main focus. I swore to myself that I’d have a solid draft finished this year and I’m determined, despite everything else going on, to reach that goal. Between coffee sips and distracting myself with Pinterest and blogging, I’ve also been brushing up on feeding tubes and suctioning out traches in my old nursing text books.
It’s moments like this that I can’t help but look at the situation surrounding me and wonder if I’ve missed something, as if there are plot holes in my life. Then again, that’s how the past four years have felt.
Perhaps this is one reason why I enjoy writing so much. I can lay out the situation and decide on a logical path for the character to go from point A to point B. However, life isn’t like that. There’s not always a logical path or a moral to the story. Sometimes it simply doesn’t make sense.
On the other hand, there are times when it’s poetic. Such as me moving into a home where I’m the fourth generation of my family to live here. I can see how the house expanded with the family over the years. I am witness to the layers of paint as it’s been transformed with the new trends. Living here has already sparked inspiration in me, a fact that has had a large impact on the rewrite of TSP.
Despite a deep, deep love for irony in writing, I hate how ironic life can be. For the sake of all that is holy, I’m a dyslexic writer. Although it no longer affects my reading at all, anything I type is likely to have words and letters out of place. Spelling is nearly impossible without Spell Check. But having the ability to create a world where someone can persevere despite an ironic disability is an amazing feeling — regardless of how difficult it can be for me to write it out!
Even now, escaping into this blog and writing about writing, is like cuddling up in a blanket fresh from the dryer. Not because I’m avoiding working on my novel or studying up on medical techniques, but rather because things are still going a little crazy around me and I’d rather not let it sink in. I’d rather stay emotionless in order to focus on the task at hand. I cannot afford to break right now.
Despite the insanity gnawing at the edges of my mind, things have gotten much better since moving into this house. That fact, I’ll gladly let sink in.